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Let’s talk about loss

Let’s talk about loss. I would say the majority of the planet right now is experiencing loss in a variety of different ways, right? Loss of their independence, loss of their jobs, loss of their connection to their families or their friends, loss of their ability to be out in the world, loss of their identity because they’re not working – so now they don’t know who they are, loss of relationships – many people have been challenged to maintain relationships during this time, loss of even some of people’s beliefs – like their faith …  loss all over the place.

If we dig in just a little bit more, I would say that we’re grieving. We’re grieving the losses.

So, we’ve experienced the loss. We felt the loss and now people are having grief, right?

You’re experiencing the grief from the loss and grief shows up in a lot of different ways for different people.

One of those ways is anger. One of those ways is shutting down or disconnecting. One of those ways is to deny it or ignore it or pretend that it doesn’t exist. And, eventually, we come around to acceptance and oftentimes come back full circle into a place of appreciation. But that isn’t always like in a week or in a month even – sometimes it’s in a decade.  I don’t think there has to be a right and wrong amount of time for that process to happen.  But it is important for those things to happen.

So, as we’re talking about grief, the first thing that we’ve got to remember is we’ve got to feel our feelings. You’ve got to feel the feelings you’re having. You’ve got to feel that sense of loss. You’ve got to feel the sadness. You’ve got to feel the energy, the emotion that you’re feeling. If you don’t feel it, it’s going to stick in your body.  You all know what happens if it sticks in your body … we get sick. We break our immune system down and we get sick. We manifest illness or disease from that. So, what we’ve got to start doing is recognizing that, yes, we need to feel our feelings. You’ve got to feel your feelings, and then you have to make a choice to not stay there.

If you want to get healthy, if you want to find happiness, if you want to experience life… then once we feel the feelings, there are healthy ways to then understand and have perspective of those feelings. And sometimes we need to shift our perspective and see now from a different perspective, how blessed we truly are, how many opportunities we really do have. And what I find is that oftentimes when we’re in loss, when we’re in grief, when we’re in anger, we tend to shut down. We shut our hearts down. We disconnect from the good feelings, as well as the bad feelings. We close off our hearts. We push the people away that love us the most. We oftentimes find fault in everybody or everything around us, and literally shut off the heart as a way of protection, as a way of keeping ourselves safe, as a way of disconnecting; but also as a way of sabotaging our love, as a way of staying in the pain – because somehow we feel like we deserve it.

We have to find ways and tools to be able to shift. So first thing is, if we’re going to open ourselves up and open our hearts and move some of that pain and anger and resentment and loss and grief and sadness, the most important thing we’ve got to do, I believe, is you’ve got to move it. So, first thing is, move your body. Just move your body – whatever that is for you. I know you’re all at different levels of movement. So, whether it’s going for a walk, whether it’s working out on the elliptical, punching bag weights, dancing, wandering around your kitchen …  I don’t care what it is, move your body. The second thing you’ve got to do is you’ve got to feel your feelings. You got to feel it to heal it – but you don’t have to stay there. And this is the problem that a lot of people have is once they start feeling it – they can’t pull themselves back up into a higher vibration, into a higher frequency. I do this kind of jokingly, but not really … is to say, “okay, you’ve got 10 minutes.” You’ve got 10 minutes to sit in your shit. You’ve got 10 minutes to feel the heaviness, the depth of pain. Again, I’m exaggerating, but I’m just trying to give you an example … because what amount of time is too much time? If you spend 10 minutes in a very low vibration, it is equal to your body being in that place for 12 hours / 24 hours. So, 24 hours, that’s how long it can take to literally get your energy level back. From my perspective, it’s like some people stay there for a week, two weeks, 10 months.

We’ve got to make some choices because here’s the thing you may have forgotten – I want you to really hear me on this: You might have forgotten that you actually have choices. You may not feel like you do because the feelings kind of are automatic. They are on that subconscious cycle that just keeps going and going and going. And you forget to insert your conscious, aware, adult mind into the things that are happening, as they’re happening. But you have choice.

You have a choice. You are not a victim. And I understand that things may have happened to you, but you get to choose how you decide to look upon those. All of us have life experiences – and the people who end up being resentful and angry and critical and in pain from their life experiences … It is a choice. You can read any story and you can see the part where somebody made it against all odds. And then you hear somebody that had everything and lost it all.

It’s not about that. It’s about your energy, your vibration, your intention, your choices, and you have a choice. You have a choice.

So, what do you choose? Do you stay in the cycle that’s just automatic because that’s a story you’ve told? I’m not saying it’s not a real story. I’m saying that is a true story. I get it. Been there, had my own stories, wrote some books about it, right? But if you aren’t inserting your conscious, present, powerful awareness into this moment, and into this moment, and into this moment, then you are just continuing the cycle. And 50, 60, 70 years go by and you’re like, shit, I got the same freaking story. Different day, same story.

Or you can go, you know what? Yeah, that was a story. But I’m choosing to live another story. I’m choosing to not hold myself and my heart hostage any longer. I’m choosing to open myself up to Spirit, to open myself up to others, to open myself up to connection, to open myself up to possibilities, to open myself up to joy, to open myself up to healing. I choose to be open – to love, light, peace, harmony, possibility. And I get it, that a lot of you have fear. You’re afraid of the future. I get it. But we spend so much energy being afraid of the future.

And we are forgetting that the future is where all possibility lies.

Think about that for a minute. Like really take that in, okay?

Fear of the future. Yep. So, if I take out the fear and I just recognize that anything that you’re wanting lives there, in the future… meaning in the creation process, where it really lives is in right now. Because if you get into the energy of it right now, then you create that for the future. But that is where your evidence is going to be, is in the future. Every possibility lives in the future. So, what are you focused on? What are you creating? What are you bringing to you? What are you attracting? What are you manifesting? What are you believing? What are you talking about? What are you thinking about? What are you reading? What are you watching? What are you focusing on? Because that is your future.

So, if we want to create whatever it is, you can’t be focusing on the things that are the opposite of that desire. So, suppose you are in a place of focusing on healthy relationships …then you cannot focus on how terrible your relationship is. You’ve got to start focusing on the things that are good, the things that are working, the things that are beneficial to you, the things that are positive … and not the things that are negative. That’s where you have to redirect your energy. If you’re focused on finances and you’re like, “oh my gosh, I have no money.” And you’re focused on that, then you stay in the energy of lack. But if you focus on abundance and look around at the things that you already have and be in appreciation of every single thing that’s around you – the food that’s on in your refrigerator or the couch that you’re sitting on, or the glasses that you wear. There’s some abundance.

We have to redirect.

And here’s the difference between us human beings and any other animal on the planet – we have the ability to recognize this, to understand it and to make choices from here.

We’ve got the loss, we’ve got the fear, we’ve got the grief. We recognize that we have to make a choice. As we make that choice, we’ve got to start telling a new story. But the way that we’re going to adjust the energy is we’ve got to stop shutting down, disconnecting, protecting, and we’ve got to open ourselves up.

So, what I want to offer you a song. Some of you may know I have a Soul Musician who writes music to support the teaching that I’m wanting to share, Kris Voelker. This song is called “I Am Open.”

You can click HERE to access the MP3 of this song.

Kris writes beautiful music that helps us move the energy and open ourselves up in whatever it is that we’re focusing on. And so today, I want to open the space to let the music, to let the message, to let the feelings go … to come to us and through us … the sad feelings – to us and through us … the happy feelings – to us and through us … then we make more room for all of life. The happy and the sad – you don’t get one without the other, right? That’s just part of life. But if we let it come to us – we explore, we see it, we feel it – and through us – we release it, the joy and the pain, I don’t want to hold onto either one, because I’m open to more and more and of it all.

So today my message for you is Open your Heart. Let’s just open our hearts. If you can practice that throughout today, you could literally sit in the heart space… you can open your arms and say, I’m going to open my heart. Let me give myself 10 minutes to feel my feelings – my anger, my pain, my sadness, my rage, whatever. And then I’m going to make another choice. I am not a victim in this. I can choose. I have conscious choice.

What I’m saying is open your heart so that you can let the love in … because when you close your heart, you may very well think you’re protecting it from the pain, but you’re also protecting it from the love. You’re keeping the love out.

Now, more than ever is the time to let in the love. My hope for you today is that you will say “I Am Open.” Allow the vibration of the song to help move to you and through you as you begin to shift to the new story you desire.

Please share in the comments below anything you may have experienced when you listened to the song. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step in moving through them.

Much love to all you as we move through these times together.

And if you would like to check out more of Kris Voelker’s music, visit her website at:

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16 thoughts on “Let’s talk about loss”

  1. Pat Kronenberg

    Thank You. I have such a tendency to dwell on things, things I don’t have control over. I need to let go and just be present.

  2. THis is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m having chest pains and I know I need to open my heart and let the past go. Thanks.

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