Stuffing emotions … any of you do that?
What have you been stuffing? What have you been noticing? How do you stuff your emotions? What does it look like to you?
Are you noticing what your emotions are? Do you know what it is you’re stuffing in the first place? Is it anxiety? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Is it the unknown? Is it pressure? Is it fear? What is the emotion that you are stuffing?
And then how are you stuffing them?
Food and booze?
Do you not express emotions because you cannot take words back?
Yes, you cannot take words back, but what you can do is move that energy out of your body.
You can move the energy out of your body.
You have a right to the way you feel. I’m not saying you should hold onto those feelings and let them take you down, but I’m saying that you have a right to how you feel and you have a right to express how you feel. BUT it may not be that you need to express it to the people you think you need to express it to.
Because what you need to express is about how YOU feel. It’s not about somebody else.
Expressing yourself does not have to be a fight or an argument or even a conversation with somebody else.
It is a process that you do within yourself that makes sense to you.
So, for example, if your frustrated with your spouse and you feel like you have to say something about this and that … what we generally tend to do is project our feelings onto other people and we stuff our emotions because we don’t want to FEEL … so we stuff our feelings with alcohol or drugs or food or sex, etc.
Sometimes expressing yourself to your spouse is not the best thing you could do. Because the reality of it is it is not actually about them.
The way you feel is about you … the way you feel is about you.
Now, somebody may be doing something that you believe causes you to feel a certain way, but nobody can make you feel a certain way without your permission.
Nobody can make you feel a certain way.
Do any of you have people in your life that do not feel loved? They don’t feel like they have the love that they want.
And how many of you would like to make them feel that love? Who has somebody like that in their life?
I for sure have those people in my life: clients, students, friends, family … I know how valuable they are … and I know what a great soul they are … and I would just love to scoop them up and just let them see what I see. Sometimes I refer to it as shaking the shit out of them! And I want them to feel that love. But can I? Can I make them feel that way?
I can jump around, do back flips, give them money, give them all the support, etc. There are so many things I can offer them … but I cannot make them feel a certain way.
Are y’all with me?
So, here’s the thing: You can’t make someone feel bad either.
You cannot make someone feel the love that you have for them; but you also cannot make them feel bad.
Now you can do something that might trigger insecurities inside of them. You could do something or say something or act a certain way that triggers something that’s going on inside of them. Absolutely. You could do that. But that doesn’t mean that you’re making them feel a certain way. It means they feel a certain way inside of them.
They feel a certain way inside of them … and in that way of feeling that certain way inside of them, when certain situations come around, then it activates that part for them that brings up the pain and they project it onto another person.
And where I am saying they, I’m certain that it could be you – that you could have done it – but you can’t make somebody feel a certain way. You cannot. If we could, we would do it.
So, who is responsible for the way you feel?
And when YOU feel, YOU may stuff those feelings, because sometimes they do not feel good.
You do not want to feel it. So, you push the feelings down, ignore them, deny them, eat them away, drink them away, etc. You do all these things.
And what you really have to do, my friends, is bring the emotional energy up. You’ve got to allow yourself to sit in it. You have got to feel the suckiness, feel the sadness, feel the situation, feel the feelings, and then redirect them.
You have to redirect them because if not, you stay stuck in a cycle.
Here is the cycle: I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or whatever … and so I eat. I eat a bag of chips or I eat a quart of ice cream or I drink too much alcohol. I do any one of those and I kind of tune out. I’m buzzed out for a little bit, right?
Then that ego kicks in and I start judging myself and “shoulding” myself and shaming myself and guilting myself … because the action that I did, caused me to feel pain even worse. And then not only do I stay in that energy longer, but then I usually want to bring people in with me.
So, then I reach out, talk about it. Spread it. Maybe I pick fights to throw that energy at somebody else. And during all of this … I’m trying to get rid of the energy that doesn’t feel good.
But instead of bringing it up, I suppress it, push it down, ignore it, deny it, pretend it’s not there.
My friends…YOU WANT TO FEEL IT…. And then release it. That’s how you break the cycle.
So, I remind you that you have the right to feel your feelings, express your feelings; not only do you have the right, but I think it’s really important for you to get your feelings out and allow yourself to see them and feel them.
And then bring in some positive loving energy to fill that void.
And you may need to express yourself every day – not necessarily needing to communicate with another person, as expressing yourself does not have to be verbal. You just have to express yourself, so the words move out of your body and out of your energy.
Release it from within you, and then bring something light and love and new and high vibration in.
Find a way to move that energy my friend … that releases the need to stuff those emotions.
If you want a step-by-step process, I created a Write & Burn Journal that has my entire process in there. Check it out here.
Move that energy out my friends! And let me know how it goes in the comments below.