There comes a time in our lives where we make a decision. Sometimes it is a conscious choice and sometime it stems from an experience that we can no longer deny. Either way, we arrive at a point in our lives where we know or feel that it is time to move forward. We can no longer live life asleep at the wheel. It is time to wake up and take responsibility for our lives and everything in them. It is time to take our power back and really live. If you have been looking for a sign that it is time for you to own your power, this message just may be your sign.
My life had been in a downward spiral for many years. As a teenager struggling to find my identity I hid my intuitive gifts, gave my power away and blamed anyone and everyone for my problems… and I had a long list. As long as I was able to blame others, I could be a victim. Life was painful but tolerable and victimhood allowed me to stay in the background, to hide, to lay down, to give up. It allowed me to pretend that I wasn’t worthy. It was a safe and comfortable, albeit uncomfortable, place to be.
One night, as I sat in the dense energy of a blow out argument with my boyfriend, warm tears streaming down my face as I rocked my 1 year old son to sleep in my arms, I had an intuitive insight. These happened regularly for me, but because the insights were typically positive, I was in no place to allow them in. In fact, they often felt like a bee sting… sharp little pokes of what I didn’t have in my life and didn’t deserve. These insights had come in many different ways, but this time, it came as a flash in my mind’s eye. In the vision my son and I were smiling, happy, playing together and truly enjoying life…. and someone else was in the vision as well. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel his presence. I knew it was a man, no THE man that would be the father to my son and my best friend. For many, this would bring peace and hope, but for me, in the powerless place I was in, it brought sadness, frustration, and anger.
Why receive these so called gifts if they don’t in fact help me. If the vision isn’t actually attainable? That was the question… and each time they came, I did question… myself, my guidance, even my angels. I would ask for help, and then not listen. I was stuck in a cycle of victimization that I put myself in. I would have moments of empowerment, moments of self love… and then the doubts would float back in like a dark cloud. It was as if I couldn’t tolerate the sunshine of life. The darkness seemed comfortable in some ways. The smoke filled shack we lived in made it hard to breath in anything life sustaining. The density of the alcoholic environment was a reminder of what I had allowed myself and my son to experience. I was embarrassed, ashamed and guilt ridden. The darkness took over my mind… the stories of not being good enough and why would circle around in my head daily. It was as if I had a permanent cd playing in my head that was tuned to shuffle the shit. I felt crazy, and in some ways, I acted that way too.
What I became aware of in the pain of this experience, was that I had lost my path. I had lost my power. How did I lose it? Where did it go? Those were questions I asked myself. Maybe you too have asked yourself from time to time. They seem like silly questions, because of course, we know we are right here. However, when you are in a place of such pain and loss, it is hard to reach for anything different, let alone better. It was the awareness, that I had lost myself, my path, my power, that catapulted me in a new direction. I had been waiting for someone else to take responsibility for my life. I had been hoping that my boyfriend could love me enough to quit drinking, to want to work, to be a better dad, etc.
What I realized in that moment was that I had invested all of my energy, time and heart into him. He didn’t take it, I gave it. And with that, the biggest realization of my life came. The one that changed everything. Are you ready? I hadn’t actually LOST anything… I had GIVEN it away! Oh my God, I had it wrong the whole time. He wasn’t taking anything from me. I was giving it all away because then it could be someone else’s responsibility, not mine. This realization changed my life. I Needed top take responsibility for my life and every decision I had made. I chose to take my power back. In so doing I realized it was time to take responsibility for my life and my choices and shortly after I broke up not only with my boyfriend, but with the unhealthy relationship with myself . I began a new loving and kind relationship with myself, and began to believe the vision of a brighter, healthier, happier future with my son, and a special someone. Fourteen months later, I met my husband and my sons father.
This was not an overnight change.. it was a process..A committed and long term process. It was a process of healing the heart that helped me the most. It was inviting my Angels in to support me and allowing myself to RECEIVE their support that changed my life. It was also about walking through the pain and looking at the things I truly needed to look at in order to heal. As I began to do “the work” I realized, I really did have a process.
If you are ready to do “the work” I would suggest checking out this FREE 9 step process to heal your heart worksheet. These are the exact steps i went through to take my power back…and eventually create the life of my dreams.
PS: If you’d like to develop a deeper and stronger connection with the angelic realm, my online course, Invoking the Archangels, is awesome and oh so powerful. Check it out here.
Angel Blessings of Love & Light – SDJ♥
PPS: I’d love to hear your experience about taking your power back also. Please share below – SDJ
Here are a few images I thought were good reminders as well