When I first had children, they were my whole world … literally …
My life revolved around being a mother. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, but man, as my son got older, it got tougher. I was worn out from the daily battles … but, I was a “good mom“.
- I was the stay-at-home mom
- the mom that picked up everyone else’s kids up and watched them until late in the evening
- the mom that made sure all the homework was done every night, perfectly (to his detriment)
- the mom that packed the healthy meals (that he hated)
- the mom that never let him out of her sight (what might happen)
- the homeroom mom
- the fundraising chairperson
- the mom that walked him to school and home, every day, without exception (even when he was old enough to do it himself)
- the mom that kept him in line (again, to the detriment of his spirit)
I was the good mom … I did everything I thought a “good mom” was “supposed” to do. But I forgot about ME!
AND … we were both miserable
My second son arrived and on top of everything stated above, I became an even more dedicated mom. I now had 2 kids. 7 1/2 years apart. I became more controlling, more obsessed. Now the two of them were my WHOLE world. Not a healthy thing … but I just didn’t know it yet. I had no world without my identity as a mother … and we were all suffering.
I was suffering from lack of passion and purpose. I knew I was a “good mom” cuz everyone told me so, but I felt like I had lost me.
My husband was suffering by being the middle man. I wanted help from him, but only my way. If he did too much, I didn’t feel like a “good mom”. If he did too little, I resented him. He couldn’t win.
Crew, my oldest son, was suffering because he was always being controlled. I was so afraid of what might happen if I didn’t watch him every second. He had no freedom … and he needed it.
Arizona, my youngest son, was suffering from witnessing all of the fighting, arguing and tears. It certainly affected him as well.
Finally … with a HUGE AHA ... life changed – I could LOVE my kids … and LOVE myself … Do things for my kids and do things for ME. A WIN-WIN!
I hope you enjoyed the video and the images below – SDJ♥
Hey my friend, hit the share button below if you liked this video. I’d also love to hear your thoughts. How has parenting been for you? What do you think? Please share in the comments below – SDJ♥