Let’s talk about choices today … Being able to make choices … you have a right to choices … creating choices … how to find that truth within yourself to make the choice that is for your best and highest good.
So, all things, CHOICES 🙂
Here’s my question to just start this off … Have you ever felt in your life like you didn’t have a choice? Like literally, you have no choice. Have you felt that way in your life?
I find that a lot of people use that language: I have no choice.
I have no choice. I have no choice. I have no choice. I hear that a lot. Do you hear that a lot?
Have you felt that way before? Have you felt like I don’t have any choice? I have to do blah, blah, blah (fill in the blank.) There is no choice. Have you felt that way before?
There are many who have felt like “I don’t have a choice.” But the reality of it is – and I really want you to think about this for a minute and really feel into this – is that you have choices, but you actually don’t like what they are.
We always have choices. Spirit says that we always have a choice. No matter what, we always have a choice.
When I first started hearing that … when people would come to me and they’d come for a session and they’d say “I want to be able to do this, but I can’t, cuz I don’t have a choice” … and Spirit would say, “oh, you have choices. There are many choices.” … and a lot of people couldn’t relate to that. They’re like, no, look, here’s my situation. I really don’t have any choice. And Spirit would say, for every situation that that’s in front of us, there are at least nine choices. At least nine choices! And I found myself thinking, okay, that’s interesting … because the bottom line is that it isn’t so much about the fact that we didn’t have a choice … it’s that we ignored many of the choices that we had because we didn’t like them … because they would be hard … because they would be uncomfortable … because they would be challenging … because other people wouldn’t like that choice … because it wouldn’t go with the status quo … because it was different than the way they had been living.
It wasn’t that they didn’t have choices – it’s that they didn’t like the choices that were in front of them.
So often we get stuck in a place where we become a victim and we act as though we can’t make a choice. Maybe we even say, I don’t have a choice. And what I’d like for you to consider is – if you said yes, there has been a time in my life where I have felt like I had no choice – I’d like you to go to that time in your life and put yourself in that place that you felt like there were no choices to make … and then I want you to look at it from the perspective of maybe it wasn’t that you didn’t have a choice, but maybe it just was that you didn’t like the choices.
Then I want you to look at whether you can see what other choices were there, even if you didn’t like them.
Sometimes people will say, I have to go to work at this job. As an example, I actually had clients in my community over the last couple of months where individuals did not want to get a particular medical shot that their company was requiring them to get. And they felt as if they didn’t have a choice because I have to do this or I’m going to lose my job.
But losing the job is one of the choices.
And I still have a choice. I can choose to do what I feel like is important to do.
And I just don’t like the choices that are out there … because then I might lose my job … I might have to get another job … I might not have enough money … I might not be able to make my house payment … I may not be able to take care of my family. So, there’s all of these other things that may be affected by that choice … but it was still a choice.
And that was what Spirit wanted to remind this person of was, yes, it feels like the choices are very limited right now, in this moment … but you do still have a choice – and you actually have many.
And so, when we can see it from a perspective of the Universe is always working for us … Everything is happening for us, not to us … in the big scheme, in the big picture of things, everything is happening for us. We are not victims in this world. There’s been a lot that’s happened over the last couple of years and a lot of people have absolutely felt like they have been victimized and taken advantage of … and I’m not here to say if people have, or they haven’t … what I’m here to do is to help you and suggest to you is that we have choice. And that oftentimes what we’ve gotten used to is having excuses or having reasons that we believe we don’t have a choice … and not choosing is actually a choice as well.
So, when you’re in a situation or a circumstance and you say I don’t really have a choice … I have to take this step … I have to do this thing. Whatever it is. And you don’t want to make that a choice … not choosing is your choice … staying in the circumstance or a situation without making a decision – then that is a choice.
There are choices that are all around. They abound all around us, all the time. And the messages that the angels and guides have given me consistently is to remember that with every situation, we have a multitude of choices that we can make, even if we don’t like the choices. We can always make a choice, and then make a new choice if we decide… and not choosing is still a choice. The way that we move out of circumstances, or situations, or painful experiences, is to allow ourselves the freedom to make a different choice, and step into that unknown.
That is so scary, right?
It’s so scary to a step into what we don’t know, because we don’t know it … but here’s the thing … when you make a choice, you can always make another choice.
You can always make another choice. And the unknown that we get so afraid of stepping into – that feels so so scary – is also the same place that all of the possibilities in life exist … it is in that place of the unknown … it is in that future experience that we call the unknown.
We don’t know what’s going to happen or what it’s gonna look like right now in our world. There’s a lot of things that are happening that we’ve never seen in our experience. We don’t know what that’s all going to look like … but it isn’t just about being afraid of the unknown. It’s also about, this is where possibility lies. This is where opportunity lies. This is where creation lies … in choice. It comes in choice.
So, when we’re trying to make a choice, part of why we get hung up sometimes is because we don’t feel clear. We don’t feel clear, so when we examine the situation and we examine the options that are seemingly in front of us, sometimes we need to gain clarity. We need to get more information. We need to be able to get ourselves into alignment for ourselves. And, sometimes if you don’t feel clear, then it’s okay to not make a decision right now. If you feel out-of-alignment, it’s okay to not make that decision in that moment. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to have to make it in the next day or the next week … but once things get into alignment … once you get clear … once you have clarity around your wants, your needs, your desires, your soul’s path … then you can gain clarity to know that I’m going to move in this direction, or I’m not ready yet. And it’s okay to not be ready yet … as long as you’re just not ready yet for the rest of your life … cuz you can’t wait that long : ) Life possibilities and opportunities are presenting themselves every minute of every day. And we can’t live in a place where we just wait for 20 years to make a decision. But if you feel out-of-alignment, you can choose to wait. Not choosing is a choice and you have the right to choose that. Spirit’s guidance to many people I have worked with has been that when you don’t feel clear, it is better to wait, to not choose … but instead ask for greater clarity. If you are paying attention and present, it will come.
Now sometimes when you are in a state where you’ve been doing the same thing over and over and over and over again, and you’re seeing the cycle and you’re like, okay, this is the definition of insanity, right? I’m doing the same thing, but I’m wanting a different result. Then I’ve got to change it up. I have to change up the thing that I’m doing, right? I have to change my action. I have to change up the pattern that keeps bringing me to the same circumstance, the same situation. And so, if nothing is changing … if nothing in your experience changes … then nothing will change.
If you don’t make a change, nothing will change; and you will be in that cycle over and over and over and over again.
So, what we’ve got to do is we’ve gotta love ourselves enough to be willing to honor that choice and to step into the possibility of change by saying, not one more day. Not one more time. Not one more experience. Not one more round. Not one more pattern am I going to continue to create this in … because ultimately, who is the creator of your life? Who is the maker of your decisions? Ultimately, it is you.
So, when we are working towards making choices and recognizing we have a choice … part of this may be getting out of the victim mentality, stepping away from the energy of fear of making the wrong decision, or fear of disappointing people, or fear of what other people are gonna think. We have to start to recognize that sometimes when we are creating choices in our lives, we have to really start to look at our reactions. And so often we get into a reactionary state, instead of responding. Responding would be taking a step back and feeling into it … taking the time to recognize what I’m feeling … what’s going on in my head … and getting into alignment. If I get into reaction mode, that reaction mode is just this trigger of all of these past painful fear-based experiences. And when this trigger happens, my subconscious reaction shows up (the past me) and I literally just spew something, right? Something just comes outta my mouth or I just make a decision for no apparent reason. I just spew out. I’m like, okay, this is what I’m gonna do.
When we’re in that place, a lot of times we project our pain, our fears, our worries onto the situation, the circumstance, a person that might be involved in what we’re interacting with. And that also gives us a place to not have to choose, because now I’m in the energy of blame. When I’m reacting, instead of responding, I’m in the energy of blame. When I’m in the energy of blame, then my healing is in the hands of whoever I am blaming. So, you blame your day, or your parents, or you blame your sister, or you blame your spouse. You blame the government; you blame your teacher. You blame your religion. When you blame – when you put that blame out – then you automatically give your power for healing to that person, that circumstance, that situation. And when you do that, you are giving your choice away.
You are giving your free will choices away.
So, are you in a place where you are struggling to have choices … do you feel like you don’t have choices right now? Do you feel like you’re stuck? Feel like you’re screwed … You’re in a circumstance that you just can’t get out of … And part of the reason that you might be in that place is because you’ve got an old story going on, right? You’ve got fears that are continuously cycling through that story. You’re giving attention to that story.
We might need to turn around and flip to a new story. We might need to create a new story … because you can create a new story, just like you can make a new choice. However, when we’re reacting from fear, that is a choice. And I know it might not feel that way, because you’re just having your natural reaction. But your natural reaction might have to be more intentional than natural … because natural is what was trained into you. Natural is what you learned through those that were around you. And you now have a choice. You can tell a new story. You can replace the old. You can replace the fears. You can replace the judgements. You can replace the criticisms. And you can say, I choose to create something different in my life. I choose to surround myself in love and light and peace and harmony. I choose to focus on what is working versus what isn’t working. I choose to be mindful of my thoughts. And when they start going in a downward cycle, I’m going to direct them up. I choose to surround myself with people of like-minds and like-hearts. I get to choose.
And when you’re feeling that fear and you’re feeling that angst, that might exactly be the time, that might be your indicator to say, I’m getting away from what it is that I want to create. I’m moving away from the new story, and I’m falling back into my old story … and ultimately my friend, here’s the deal – I know it’s not a popular concept. I know a lot of people don’t like it – but what I’m here to tell you is the only one that can choose you is you. The only one that can choose you is you. You are the only one that can put yourself on your list. You are the only one that can choose to put your needs first. You are the only one that can fill up your cup. You’re the only one that can love yourself. You are the only one that has that capability. Other people can feed you. Other people can nurture you. Other people can love you dearly, but they cannot force you to take it in. They cannot make you feel a particular way. They cannot choose for you – because we have this thing, as Spirit beings born into this physical body – we have this thing called Free Will. We all came here to experience free will. Right now, in many parts of our world, free will is seemingly being taken. Freedoms are being taken away. And the exact purpose that we are meant to be here for – to experience free will and to experience the natural consequences of all of our free will choices and to grow and expand and to heal and to support and to teach and to love and to live … right now in many places in our world, that is being taken or threatened. And again, I just want to remind you… you have a choice.
You have a choice.
You have a choice in how you show up. You have a choice in the choices you make. You have a choice in what you give your attention to. You have a choice in the way you spend your money. You have a choice in where you put your focus. You have a choice in the people that surround you. You have a choice in what you consume. You have a choice in the decisions that you make. You have choices, and you have a right to those choices. It is your birthright. Free will is your birthright.
Have you ever felt that your free will has been limited in your life experience? Now, when you’re a child, yep … Free will is limited because your parents make decisions for you, instead of you, right? When you’re a teenager, same thing, unless you have parents that are wise enough to let you make those choices or until you get out of that house. And then you’re like, oh, I’m gonna make all these choices … and then we start discovering consequences, right? But that’s also sometimes when we start discovering victimhood … it’s when we start giving our power away. It’s when we start relying on others instead of ourselves. It’s when we listen to those in the crowd, instead of listening to ourselves, to our Spirit, to our guidance, to our intuition.
And as we move through our lives, a lot of times we give more and more and more attention to those voices outside of us, instead of that voice inside of us. And I want you to think about what that voice might be saying to you right now? What is it that you need to claim? What is it that you need to speak? What is it that you need to own? What choice do you need to make for yourself? What do you need to express? What do you need to verbalize? What do you choose? How do you choose to spend your time, energy, life force?
Please do not let anyone take away your free will because you have a choice. And the reality of that choice is much more powerful than a lot of people give credit to. It is why we are here to experience free will … and with that comes personal responsibility.
What is personal responsibility? You are responsible for your person, your choices, and the consequences of those. No one else is … not your parents, not your spouse, not your children, not your church, not your government. You have personal responsibility.
What kind of world would we live in right now – just take a moment with me – what kind a world would we live in right now if the focus was on personal responsibility, love, harmony, peace, understanding, support, connection, joy, happiness … instead of control, dominance, judgment, criticism, hatred? Imagine what that might look like?
You know, I’ve taught intuition and I’ve taught spiritual growth and spiritual development and mediumship and opening your heart … I’ve taught this stuff for 20 plus years … and the message has never changed. As I’ve grown and evolved, I’ve understood it in different layers and greater depths … but the message has never changed. It’s always been the same and it continues to be the same. And over the last couple of years, when the pandemic started and I kicked off different programs to help support those that were in so much fear, to help create more connection and more community … and I believe that was achieved and it served exactly what it was meant to do … and I focused on reminding everybody that they had choices, even though in some circumstances, for some people, it felt like the choices were minimal. But they still had choices. And that is still the case today. I truly feel like everyone has a right to their choice, which is a message I’ve always taught, and I believe that we don’t have to hang a sign that categorizes us in one form or another form or another form. I have fought against labels most of my life, not only for myself but for my son with all of his diagnoses or with my business, etc. I have pushed against labels because I believe that everyone has the right to choose: What they focus on, what they do to their bodies, what they eat, what they drink, what they drug, what they watch, what they listen to, whom they love, what they do … because our Spirit came here for free will choice.
And I don’t believe anyone should feel the need to be shamed or guilted into sharing what their choice in their life is. It’s no one’s business, unless you want it to be : ) And so today, what I wanted to remind you about is this: I absolutely believe that for every last one of you – whether I agree with every single thing you say, or I agree with nothing that you say, or I agree with part of what you say – I am always gonna stand up for your right to say it … for your right to believe it … for your right to experience it … for your right to have that be your truth. I will spend my dying breaths believing that each and every one of us has a right to choose for ourselves … because as Spirit has said over and over and over and over again, it is why we are here: Free Will.
When that free will is threatened, when that free will is made to look like something that we have to earn … that is a concern. And so, what I’d like for each of us to do, is I would like you to embrace your choices, whatever they are. And take a breath and a moment of appreciation every single day that you live in a place where you have those rights still, and that you have the freedom to stand up for your truth – whatever that is – because you have the right to choose that. YOU have a right to choose that. And whether I stood beside you, or I stood across from you, I would always stand with you when it comes to choice.
My greatest wish for humanity is that each and every person could do the same.
That each and every person could stand beside someone and honor their ability to choose for themselves … because it is why we are here.
So, I found this poem … it’s short, but I really liked it because I think that a lot of people get stuck in standing in their power and in their choices. The author is unknown.
I choose to live by choice, not chance. To be motivated, not manipulated. To be useful, not used. To make changes, not excuses. To excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not listen to the random opinions of others. ~ Author Unknown
I would’ve have also added in there: I choose to stand in my power and not be a victim … because we are not victims, my friend.
We are each a Spirit in a body that is here on a divine mission. And you are on that mission whether you recognize it or not. So, we are not a victim. We have power beyond our recognition.
And when you know that, and you believe that, and you step into that … it’s a powerful, powerful place to be. So, let’s use that energy, and that love, and that free will, and that choice to shine a light and support those that maybe don’t feel that right now and for those that don’t feel like they have choices and do struggle in that victim space – not because it’s wrong, but because we’ve all been there.
Sometimes the pain is deeper than what we recognize … which is why we should never judge where someone is, where they stand. Because we don’t know … and if we don’t judge, then we can just honor where they are with their free will to choose for their life – regardless of what they choose.
I love you, my friend. I hope this perspective brought some value to you. I do think we need to be reminded that we have choices. I love each and every one of you and I’m grateful to have this connection to you.
I would love to hear how you feel. Are you one that can stand in support of everyone having a right and having a choice for their free will? Or is that a challenge for you? You can be honest with your response, because if it’s a challenge, then that challenge can sometimes be the greatest way to discover something new. Please leave me a comment below and let me know your feedback.
If this topic resonated with you, it is the basis for my upcoming online class, Summer Sizzle: 8-Day Tune-up. If you are ready to embrace new choices … Join Me! Check it out here for more info!
Melissa Kim Corter is a best-selling author, intuitive coach, and clinical hypnotherapist. She helps women overcome money and visibility blocks with evidence-based and spiritual approaches. She guides entrepreneurs to manifest increased levels of financial and emotional success with her heightened intuition. Melissa mentors entrepreneurs to hone their message and gifts, while activating potential. She feels we’re here to live a legacy, not just leave one behind. Melissa builds business with magic, ritual, and strategy; weaving joy into the talents our souls came to express. She’s the founder of Wild Woman Inc., a sacred online gathering space and marketplace for the woman “who knows her magic” and seeks to celebrate it with other conscious, collaborative, women. Check out the Wild Woman Marketplace for witchy, wise, magical, and mystical products and services for women. http://wild-woman.com/