How do you know when it is time to end a friendship, a relationship, even a family relationship? Man, do I get this question a lot? How do I know WHEN?
Well, first … there is no RIGHT answer …
Secondly, I can’t answer that for you, not specifically. Yet, I can share with you some ways that can give you insight into the question … and that insight can help you with clarity for your specific question.
Let’s start by reading this poem …
A R E A S O N, A S E A S O N, O R A L I F E T I M E
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People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. – Author Unknown |
To begin, if you are asking the question about a particular relationship, you have insight right there. Just asking the question is, in and of itself information. It says that there is something within you that is questioning the value or the continued value of a particular relationship(s). It tells you that something within you is not feeling in alignment with this relationship. Does that mean it has to end?? No. But, it is information that you want to consider with an open heart and mind. As you listen, the steps you need to take can and will reveal themselves … again, if you are willing to truly listen.
Oftentimes, relationships come in for a Reason … to learn something new, to open a doorway, to gain insight, to direct you to another part of your path or purpose. They are there simply for a reason … and once that reason is served, they disappear, fall away, or feel out of alignment … sometimes for no apparent reason. This is when people try to hang on, look for fault or blame. When you can see that it is possible this relationship was just here for a reason … and that purpose or reason has now been served, you may be able to release it or let it go without the same pain that you are used to experiencing when relationships end. The important thing here is being willing to SEE the truth of this relationship.
Other times, relationships come in for a Season … to bring you a new awareness, new love, new life and new lessons. These season relationships are usually a bit longer, and with that are often harder to let go of or release, unless of course you recognize they are here just for a season. Once the season is over, it is time to go, to move on. No wrongdoing, again, the season is simply over… and when one season is over, a new season always follows. It will look and feel different and if you allow yourself to let go and open to the new, it can be fantastic You must be the one to let go without blame or anger and instead be open to appreciation. They were here just for the season … and the season is all it was ever meant to be. Take the experience and be grateful for all that it was. It was an amazing season.
Yet, others are for a Lifetime. Lifetime relationships last a lifetime. The interesting things about lifetime relationships I think, is that often we assume those are family relationships; and they can be, but they aren’t always. Family relationships are for a lifetime, when you have chosen to experience them for a lifetime. However, you may have to release some of your family relationships, as you became aware that they were truly only for a reason or a season. Just because they are blood, does not mean they are all lifetime relationships. That is important to remember. Sometimes family members purpose is more for a reason than it is for a lifetime.
This is where discernment comes in. Tune into what feels true and right to you. Be honest with yourself and the relationships you have and most importantly, ask yourself this question with complete open-heartedness … Am I forcing this relationship beyond its true purpose? Am I wanting it to be something it isn’t? Am I putting expectations on a relationship that just keep me disappointed and sad? Listen clearly for the answer … and … whatever the answer is, now ask and listen to your heart for guidance and direction.
I have been blessed throughout my life to learn so much about relationships by being truly honest with myself about the purpose they serve, both myself and the other person. This little poem has been of fantastic help and support for me through the years. I hope it helps you too:)
I’d love to hear your comments on Reason, Season or Lifetime relationships. Please share below!
17 thoughts on “Are your Relationships Here for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime?”
Two years ago I meet an amazing woman while both of us already in a serious relationship. We dated behind closed doors. Things got serious between us, but I came to the conclusion that this wasn’t our time.
We were together for a season and hope that we meet again for a lifetime.
I love this poem , It is something I return to time & again. I am an old lady now but these words are so true, Thank you for showing this to us again.
joan storer England25/07/22.
I was in a M/M relationship for 36 years with the same man. He passed away from cancer almost 4 years ago. I met a 25 year old man, I am a 60 year old male, at the gym. He asked me out. We went out and that was 9 month ago and we are still dating. He pleases me and I also make him happy. Being much older I used to tell him to go play with others his own age. He said he dates who he wants to date unless I didn’t want to date him. We are still dating and I am not sure if it is for a Season or a Reason but we get along really well. So I like your advice to just enjoy it and that is what I am doing.
Exactly.. Enjoy each and every moment, Happy to hear that you are happy <3
You got it my friend!! Stay present and enjoy the journey!! Thank you for taking the time to share your experience!!
I am still trying to come to terms with a relationship I had over 2 years ago, I met a beautiful woman and fell madly in love with her. We were together for nearly a year and then she said she only wanted to be friends and we still talk ever day and then she met another person but still wanted to keep on talking to me. What is the reason behind this
Thank you for sharing your experience. Relationships outside of ourselves help to define the relationship we hold within. If you feel complete having this person as a friend in your life that’s great… if it is painful and not full filling … perhaps it’s time to revisit the decision and create a new boundary that feels more in alignment for YOU. You are the captain of your ship my friend. Sending lots of love and support your way!
All this is so true, especially about lifetime relationships with blood relatives. They are some of the most damaging to our psychological and mental health. The real shame is when your partner has had a caustic relationship with blood relatives, but is so brainwashed in being that blood should always come first. The woman of my dreams is disillusioned into believing the “blood comes first” concept. That she doesn’t realize that “the man she always wanted”, is being slowly driven away. I would do most anything to make her happy. But I have come to the reality that I am setting myself up for betrayal. Being honest with this reality is the best thing I can do for myself and her, as painful as it may be. Betrayal runs deep in her family and she has already been less than loyal. Keep it real gentlemen, if she does not protect your heart now she never will.
Thank you for sharing your experience and we are sending lots of love and support!!
I have some of each.
This holds true for me. I hold on to the hope that it will be for my own good to keep relationships going.Even when I am not valued to my expectations. I have had family relationships feel forced and friendships that I fit my old self into. I never feel fully right or valued. I feel better alone then with those people. But I have this fantasy that I am supposed to have it all look perfect. But perfect pictures never look right to me. I have some work to do. I love the poem. it helps a lot. thank you Sunny
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This is question is something I have worked with for some time. I have family members that have been very difficult ultimate to deal with and I realized our relationship would not be like other family relationships. I let them know I was not going to be their dumping person. I would love them but from afar. I have not heard from them in almost a year and I have lived without feeling any should have established or could haves about our relationship.
I have a family member whom I had loved so much. I give emotionally, financially and gave with my whole heart. It was difficult to come to the realization that I did not matter and I was hurt for a long time. I ended the relationship and explained why. she didn’t care. Her behavior only solidified for me I never mattered nor appreciated. I am truly happy now and have no regrets, no resentment only peace.
Hi my name is keianna just ask my bf of 6 months are we in this for a reason or season he said season
I feel you. The guy I was seeing in NJ for 4 months since May. He is leaving to PA for the new job. He said it would be better for me to see other people. We had a great time this summer. He still wants to be friends. … Clearly, it was for a season.
I tell ppl all the time about reasons,seasons,and lifetimes.its a great experience dealing wit ppl.