Big Changes and the loss and gain that comes with them
Have you ever made a BIG change, like a life altering change? One that scares the hell out of you but its a must to your Spirit? It can be scary right?
I know that feeling, I’ve made a lot of them, both in my personal life and in my biz. The thing is, what I knew that was even stronger than the fear of change, was the fear of not changing. The fear of not moving forward. The fear of staying in the “comfort” of the cycle forever.
For me personally, I prefer change to the energy of “stuckness”. The part that is hard, or harder than the change, is the fact that some people just won’t come along, aren’t ready for change, don’t want the change, think that things are absolutely fine or.. they are simple unaware of just how necessary that change is for you.
The process that has worked for me is to recognize, that it is OK, if people don’t come along. Actually, it might even be better.I know, it can be hard to see in the moment, because it feels like such loss, but just knowing that the Universe is on your side, and that the changes you are making are for the higher good, whether people come along with you or not….is priceless.
Trust your intuition, trust your guidance,trust your heart…and listen. If you put your hand in your heart, you will know if it is best to stay comfortable, or if it is time to move forward… with or without someone.
I remember when I first started my biz. I had a friend that just couldn’t “go there” with me. She wasn’t willing to see me as the person I had grown into. It had been several years from the last time we really spent any time together and she was use to to insecure, questioning, fear based person that I was. She noticed I was “different”… and I was. I didn’t know it at the time, but I think that she was afraid of losing me as I began to grow and heal and expand. Unfortunately… or fortunately, that did happen, she did lose me.. or we lost each other. Not because I grew, but because she wasn’t willing to come along with me and I wasn’t willing to stay stuck in the energy of who I had been. I was no longer willing to play the role of victim. I wasn’t interested in the drama, chaos, etc. I had learned a new way… and I was moving forward.
The truth is, that was much of our connection… our pain. Yes, we had some good times, yes we were great friends at a time when we really needed each other and I never could have lived through some of my life without her. However, when I got to a place where I was moving forward, she wasn’t.. at least not in the direction I was…
AND THAT IS OK!!!!!!!!
It didn’t feel that way at the time. I spent a lot of hours questioning why???? Eventually, I simply realized, I am changing, and I was… a lot. And.. I liked who I was changing into. Some people aren’t going to like the new me…. but I DO. Some people aren’t going to be able to see me in a new light.. but I DO. And some people just aren’t willing to take a step with me, and I am not willing to NOT step! It’s important to sate here also, that there is nothing wrong with not taking that step. She was simply walking her journey the way she felt guided… our paths simply were not longer aligned. That is all.
So, as you are changing and growing… Please… don’t make it about anyone else. Don’t stop short simply because other people are uncomfortable and at the same time, don’t force your NEW ways onto anyone. The universe has a way of naturally shifting these relationships. No one has to have done anything wrong, it is just time for a change.
One of the last times I saw my friend, I had invited her and her new husband to a talk I was doing at the library on Positive Affirmations and how they can change your life… She popped in, a little late, and I was sooooo happy to see her there. I thought it might open a new door for us. Instead, that is when it began to close completely.
Was it Coincidence, Synchronicity? The Universe at large?
I still think about her, from time to time. She popped up the other day in my heart…. and I sent her love… as I always do. She taught me so much and was such a good friend during our time together. I honor our own individual journeys and recognize, that sometimes, for no “wrong” reason, BIG change is meant to happen, and not everyone comes along….
